Most Myspace profile pictures are predictable. There’s your body shot variety: a picture of breasts, abs, butt, mouth, then there’s the classic yearbook picture. Next are profile pictures featuring couples, babies, and pets. Finally, icons, celebrities, and cartoons conclude the most common profiles pics. Occasionally, I’d say 1 in 500; you’ll come across a profile that makes you wonder the story behind the picture. I came across a few such profiles; here are their stories.

I am a botanist. Last year we went out to Death Valley because it was a year of record rainfall and the whole place was just covered in flowers. It was amazing. Near the edge of the road the flowers were mixing with broken glass. But where I was sitting, there was no glass.

I had recently gotten my heart broken by a soon 2 be doctor that is seeking a trophy wife and I felt the need to relieve some frustration. Instead of hitting the bars like I was advised, I hit the road. Nothing but me, a 12 pk of beer, my best friend, and a kick ass CD. We went back to eastern KY where I am originally from and had a therapeutic mudding experience that my ex referred to as “uncivilized!” Once again, I came to the realization that it is better to be hated/left for who are, than to be loved/kept for someone that you are NOT….

The picture is one I found on a website about queer culture in pre-war Berlin. It’s vaguely (and optionally) labeled as being two prostitutes looking for a job and/or of a lesbian couple dressed to the nines on their way to dance the night away. Which? Why? How? I was intrigued. I recently met and fell in love with a woman O N L I N E who meanly and very effectively woo’ed me for two months, said I was everything to her, and then, cruelly, abandoned it with little explanation. I actually met her on myspace. The picture is about where uncertainty and privacy cross–for me–and a little about self-promotion and self-protection at once. And, as you can see, I just created this profile as an outlet to focus on my writing and adopt a persona outside the memories that cling to the “self” under which I met her. I suppose this idea could be a little creepy–multiple selves–one seen, one generally under the radar, but it feels new and private in that creepy public way. I find that being a musician with whatever “following” puts me out there as a target for lonely girls.

The Strokin Saga started about 5 years ago in a bar called Bondy’s Tavern in Cresskill, NJ. My friends and I have been doing karaoke there for quite a few years. We started playing a game called Karaoke Roulette. Basically you put your name on one slip, and the most ridiculous song you can find on the other. Someone picks your name out of a hat, and you pick a song out of another. Well I got saddled with Strokin, by Clearance Carter and not to be outdone by the song went all out with it. By the time the song was half over I was there, shirt off 2 other friends joined in, tore there shirts off and started dancing around the stage. The crowd at the bar was going nuts, laughing, cheering some even stuffing singles down our pants! From then on we got requests to do that act every week for about two years straight, and Seth and the Strokers was born!

Mandy Lynn is Myspace A List. She has over 175,000 Myspace friends, 350 pages of comments on her profile and has been named Playboy’s cyber girl of the week. Her fans love her. One of her 70 year old fans say is it best, “Man i wish i was 50 years younger.”Quiver & Quill spoke with Mandy about Myspace, Playboy and her life online.

Q&Q: How many times a day do you check your Myspace page?

Mandy: 1-2 times

Q&Q: In your profile, you call yourself a deep dork? Can you give me an example?

Mandy: well when i say dork, it is just kind of another way of saying that i am silly. Hehe and deep, i say this because i think a lot, sometimes even on a level most do not understand.

Q&Q: Do you have a secret Myspace page just for friends?

Mandy: no i do not have a myspace just for personal friends, that is a good idea actually! maybe i should.

Q&Q: Would you consider yourself Myspace A list?

Mandy: So i am told, i am very well known and recognized from myspace.

People see me out in person and are like “omg you’re mandy lynn from myspace, can i take a picture with you!” It is very flattering! I will also be part of the playboy models of myspace feature due out this summer.

Q&Q: Your Myspace page is very professional. Did you build it or have someone create it for you?

Mandy: well thank u very much! yes i did, i built it 100% on my own, most people are shocked by that and some may not believe and that is a compliment! i’m like its THAT Good? damn go me then! haha it get asked all day long where people can find that layout and im like “you can’t it is my own!” hehe

Q&Q: How have you dealt with all the fake pages? Are the fake pages good publicity for you?

Mandy: The fakers, years ago i used to get really pissed off by it, but I just roll my eyes, I am pretty well known so most people know me from playboy, and know my real page and website and stuff, but some do get fooled still.I don’t see the fakers as good publicity, they are rarely advertising any of my stuff so they are no help, they are just annoying.

Q&Q: Are you a member of online communities aside from Myspace?

Mandy: a few, but i rarely go on them, myspace is THE place to be! Hehe

Q&Q: Do you think more people know you from Myspace or from Playboy?

Mandy: I am well known from both, but i’d say myspace more, the whole world is on it!

Q&Q: What do you think of the concerns from the older generation that Myspace is, basically, ‘evil?”

Mandy: Oh gosh don’t get me started, it is really a shame that parents blame myspace, they need to realize it is not myspace’s fault that sometimes bad things happen as a result of people meeting up, what they need to do is warn their kids of the weirdos on the entire internet and not single out myspace.

My girlfriend was in a car accident yesterday. When I arrived at the scene, I interviewed several witnesses. A gentleman holding a baby volunteered his information. I wrote down his name and number.

Do you have an e-mail, sometimes it’s easier than bothering you on the phone you know…”He looked at me and replied, “Don’t spam me.”

Are you kidding me? It’s no longer about ambulance chasing lawyers but spam producing marketers. I wanted to respond, “You know, as much as I love speaking with you and not consoling my crying girlfriend, I saw this great opportunity to get your email address and add it to my collection of people to spam.”

Common sense is uncommon.

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When is advertising cool? Geico and the Budweiser frogs come to mind as recent examples. How many times have people told you, “They just saved a bunch of money on car insurance with Geico?” Perhaps you know a group of guys who imitate the Budweiser commercial’s ‘what’s up’ commercials. Cool commercials create inside jokes. So much so, that even saying the products name causes an entire group of drunken buddies to relive the commercial, or a Chicago improv troupe to parody it nightly. Time for some evidence to support my arm chair definitions: Take Burger King.

Burger King is like the cool professor invited to the college party. New media is the party; here are five examples of the coolness. Every unsolicited user comment and reposted Burger King Viral Video represents the invitation to the party. Let’s turn on some music and bring in the keg:

You Tube Video Sharing:

There are over 316 video results for the tag Burger King on You Tube. Just the top ten results alone equal more than 90,000 impressions. Not only are people watching Burger King commercials online, they love them. Consider three comments as evidence:

The New Media Musing’s blog brought this story to my attention. DV Guru compares the top ten video web sites. While I’m clearly a You Tube advocate, at least in their present pre-ad state, this article provides a good summary to start the conversation. And you may learn a site or two…